A middle-aged man dreaming of the day when he can stop begging for scraps and write for a living.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Growing Up

Becoming an adult is a scary process. At some point you realize that when a problem arises, you can't keep running to your parents to fix it. You have to take responsibility for the problem yourself. It's now your job to be accountable for what you think and what you do; no one else can do it for you.
Stepping away from religion is the same way. It was comforting to think that you always had an "out" from death and sin. Now that comfort is being revealed as a lie, and what are you going to do? That's why so many people are genuinely afraid of death, because they don't want to abandon that feeling of comfort.

Once I finally came to terms with the fact that I alone am responsible for the good or bad in my life, I realized I am truly free. I don't have to live up to a set of standards that are conflicting. I don't have to win the approval of a score-keeper who never gives me feedback on how I'm doing. I don't have to interpret vague events and feelings to decide if that means I have that score-keeper's approval. It's up to me to do the best I can, and if I fail I have only myself to blame. If I want immortality, I have to create it in the legacy I leave behind me.

It's not easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.

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