Fish in Space

Sacrilicious: adjective : a description of something so sacrilegious that it's delicious to behold. Portmanteau of sacrilege and delicious. example: The Loophole by Garfunkel and Oates is positively sacrilicious! What I want to know is this: why is this not a thing? Come on, Oxford! It's time to step up!

Thank you, Jon Stewart and the Daily Show writers. I apparently needed this hot rage injection. The Daily Show Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes , The Daily Show on Facebook , Daily Show Video Archive

Seriously. Don't do it. The following is an example of something that I felt compelled to write when someone asked for help writing a eulogy for his friend. Bob was a genuine nature-lover. I mean that literally. He loved nature. Once when we were out hiking by a pond I watched him catch a frog and force it to fellate him. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he told me that God wanted him to have dominion over nature so that's what he was doing. Then he yelled at the frog, "What's my name? Say my name, bitch!" That was Bob. Always going that extra mile.

I encountered someone who complained that whenever atheists tell jokes it's always about religion, never about atheism or atheists. He eventually clarified that we never allow anything funny and offensive about ourselves. I have to concede the last point; I can't think of any jokes about atheism or atheists that I would find offensive. Here's what I came up with: Q: What did the atheist say after walking into a church? A: Mind if I smoke? Q: How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, and it's not funny! Q: Why did the atheist die at the bottom of the cliff? A: He didn't believe in gravity, either. I realize it's a short list, so I invite anyone to come along and suggest some more. Bonus points if I find it offensive to atheism.